I'm finally letting myself show anger, even rage, call people on the bullshit they hand me, their lies, singular or repeated, all of it.
Because I can.
I purged an old, dead email account of its contents the other day. What (at the time) I felt was a stupid move was reading a bunch of those emails first.
I was aghast.
It is cold and snowy outside, and I am grateful for warmth and shelter.
I am in pain, and I am grateful for medications to treat it.
I am grateful that there is food in the house, when so many starve.
I am grateful to be loved and supported without reservation or condition, this is a rarity, or at least a thing people rarely realize.
Today is my primary blog’s second birthday. I was laid up with a migraine all day, so I didn’t have a proper celebration for it. I will, though. Cupcake included.
I can’t bring myself to say, “Wow, I can’t believe it’s been two years,” or, “I never expected it would last this long,” because I had no expectations when starting out, I just wanted to write.
But I will say that today I am grateful to all of the friends I’ve made along the way; thank you for supporting me and sticking around and becoming my friends.
Love and Kisses,
Ruby
I am so incredibly grateful today for something I can’t even write about. Not one word, not at all. But it’s something someone I love very much has wanted for a long, long time now.
And I’m so happy that she’s happy!
I am incredibly grateful for the purging of old memories, old mistakes, old ills that I did early this morning. My immediate reaction was that I shouldn’t have done it, because I saw some very ugly things with the benefit of hindsight. And I know that I have only unearthed a shitload of things for me to work out in my head.
But they are important, critical things. They are demons and deficiencies I have to face and work through if I ever want to be truly happy.
And I do, I very much want to be very happy.
I am grateful also for friends, for one in particular who helped me out and talked to me and with whom I found a very deep kinship. People like that don’t come into my life very often, and when they do, I treasure them.
I am grateful for prescription pain relievers. Boy, am I ever. And muscle relaxers, too. And heating pads.
I had cramps that were so awful they actually woke me up, and prevented me from going back to sleep. Not quite so bad as those I had right after my IUD was placed, but close, very close. Helped me balance out all of yesterday’s productivity by preventing me from doing anything.
Here’s hoping for a less drugged tomorrow — but in the meantime, hooray for pills!
I did yoga first thing, then headed over to the rec center for some kickboxing. Now I have been miserably sick for about two weeks, so having the strength to do that once again was something to celebrate all on its own. And then going to town on the bag was a wonderful exercise (no pun intended) in obliterating my frustrations.
I came home and got all cleaned and shiny, then I did some writing. For the first time in a long time, I got to write a piece for A Canvas Of The Minds that was actually about my mental health! So look for that in a couple of days. I even got creative and filled it with lots of pretty, colorful pictures.
And now the reading. . . I’ve got at least 20 good minutes before my sleepies kick in. I’d like more than that, but I’ll be grateful for what I can get!
Ooh, I also had a yummy sandwich earlier! Must not forget the food. ;)
I met His Holiness once, when I was about 14. Not at any kind of event, which made it even more special. I met him coming out of The Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room in Disneyland, of all places. That’s about as good as it gets, if you’re me.
I’ve always had an interest in Buddhism, and a deep respect for and belief in the tenets of Tibetan Buddhism especially. And if I had to pick one person who has influenced my life more profoundly than anyone (family excluded), it would be Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama. He is the embodiment of everything I aspire to be.
I strive always to be kind, compassionate, and understanding in everything: word, deed, and thought. I don’t always succeed, but for the rest of my life I will be practicing and becoming a better human because of this man, because of the way his heart and mind speak to my own.
He has such wisdom, and I am grateful that he shares it with the world.
The inner peace that comes from ridding your heart and mind of all negativity is incredible, and the gratitude I feel for being able to do it is unparalleled.
Here we are, still within the first month of 2013. A few days into it, but it is never too late to get something like this rolling.
Something like what? Why, it's time to unveil the Blog for Mental Health 2013 Badge! Lulu started this amazing campaign last year, and it caught on like wildfire with mental health bloggers everywhere. They proudly took the pledge, spread the word to other bloggers, and displayed the badge prominently on their blogs.
Well, first off, I think I have to mention how grateful I am to have made it through last night. I woke up after just a few hours of sleep due to the pain in my back and leg, and though I hit it (not literally, bad idea) with ice and ibuprofen and cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxer), I didn’t do too much sleeping last night. It was pretty rough.
But, then today I got in to see my wonderful doctor, who gave me lots of magical pills (Percocet [pain med], Prednisone [steroid], more cyclobenzaprine, and meloxicam [super-strong anti-inflammatory]) and pulled lots of magical strings to get me in to see a chiropractor tomorrow. Don’t ever tell him I said so, but my doctor is really amazing when he isn’t being a jerk. 
Also, I got a yummy chocolate brownie.
And the cute barista boy (I still say the men should be baristos) at Starbucks gave me an out-of-the blue compliment when I was sporting my “I’m-going-to-the-doctor-so-bothering-with-anything-more-than-a-shower-and-getting-mostly-dressed-is-not-an-option” look. 
